Do you EVER Wonder what you are because I don't Understand What I am =(?

I feel things that I don't Understand Why I am feeling that way and ETC. and THESE feelings I have I NEVER felt before like Last Year I never FELT REAL Depression until Last Year and it was the MOST Painful Emotion I ever FELT in my Whole Entire Life and today I felt so Hurt over something that I shouldn't have felt so Hurt and Emotional about it and this was the Very First Time I felt so Hurt about something like that but it was just so Painful and Hurtful I was crying so much for a while even though I know For Sure that My Grandpa Loves and Cares about me so much but I was just soooo Hurt like I swear this is the First time I ever felt hurt about something that I shouldn't EVEN question and I feel like something out there is Controlling me and my emotions and I don't FEEL REAL I feel like I am just a Robot or a Puppet or a COPY I just don't FEEL REAL I just want to CRY and I was born this way and I don't UNDERSTAND Why I feel the way I do! and I know it's because of something beyond my Understanding that makes me question my Existence =0( like Am I REAL? What Am I?